track 16: falling

In the Spring of 1990, a television show called Twin Peaks started to air. There was a short half-season that spring, and then one more season the next fall, when I was beginning my senior year of high school. I was incredibly into the show, which is probably where the obsession I have with the Pacific Northwest (that continues to this very day) began. I had never heard of David Lynch before that and probably wouldn't see any of his other work until after my high school days were done. However, the show was so intriguing and I was dying to know Who Killed Laura Palmer.



The music for the show was composed by Angelo Badalamenti, who is a frequent collaborator of Lynch's. I didn't know who he was either, but the dreamy, mesmerizing score absolutely got to me, nothing more than the show's theme song, "Falling." Sung by Julee Cruise, the song first appeared on an album called Floating Into the Night, a collaboration between Cruise, Badalamenti & Lynch, who wrote lyrics. I didn't actually get the album until more than a decade later, but it's full of beautiful music, including the gorgeous song "The world spins."



Anyway, this post isn't solely about Twin Peaks or Julee Cruise. In fact, I'm not familiar with anything Cruise did aside from Floating.... However, it was the cassette single for "Falling" that is the star of this entry. Because it played during the car accident I was in one rainy day in 1990. November 3, 1990 to be precise. I know this because it was the Saturday after the movie Jacob's Ladder opened. I was going to see it that night with a few friends [who star in track 17: nothing compares 2 u] that night.

But earlier Saturday, I was going with my friend Kristi Perazzini to Bayside, a shopping center in downtown Miami. This is the same mall I saw Tiffany in, by the way. My big purchase that day was the cassette single for "Falling" and it was playing in her car's stereo while we were driving back home in the rain. We had gotten somewhat turned around, but had finally found our way to Sunset Drive, a main road, and were heading west towards Kendall when the car lost control and began to spin. And spin and spin. I remember seeing a telephone pole right ahead, but the car turned again and we ended up coming to a loud crashing halt on the concrete median. When the car stopped and it was apparent that we were both okay, I remember pushing the door open and... suppressing laughter. My defense mechanism? Happiness to be alive? I don't know, but I immediately checked myself and felt guilty.

There we were two teenagers on Sunset Drive with a car stuck on the median that was going nowhere. It's 1990, before either of us would have had a cell phone- and I'm sure she would have had one, even if I probably wouldn't have- so we have to walk to the intersection of Sunset & 87th to get to a pay phone. Kristi doesn't want to go alone and even though I'm pretty sure it's not the smart thing to do, I go with her. We find a phone and call... her mom. Who must have freaked out. We go back to the car to find a cop waiting by it. He can't believe we left the scene of the accident, but I think in the end blames the fact that we're, you know, dumb teenagers. The tow truck arrives and the driver remarks with astonishment that he can't believe we walked away from this scratch-free. Until that point, I don't think that either of us had realized how serious it was. The axle was completely broken and Kristi's car was finished forever. (She then inherited her mom's great big silver Cadillac, which was a lot of fun to ride in and in retrospect, probably a hysterical sight to see two teenagers going around town in.)



The "Falling" cassette had flown out of the tape player and into the back seat. Kristi banned it from ever being played near her again. That night I did still go see Jacob's Ladder with my friends. They were all stoned and I was still in mild shock, so I don't think anyone could have told you what that movie was about, just that it was "so. fucked. UP!!"

I had taken driver's ed during my junior year and been pretty unexceptional. I think that seeing how easy it is to lose control of a moving automobile and having such a close call might be why I never really enjoyed driving and stuck to public transportation.

Another favorite story about Kristi is how we tried to go see the movie Pet Sematary three times but could never get in because we weren't 17 yet. This was actually something that happened during our junior year. The first time we tried, it was the day the movie opened. A friend of ours bought tickets for us. Sadly, there was actually an usher at the door to the theater, who wouldn't let us in. We ended up seeing Speed Zone, a Cannonball Run sequel, instead. Another time, we decided to buy tickets for Beaches and then sneak into the other movie. Again, we were foiled by a movie usher collecting tickets at the theater entrance. I can't remember the other time, but I don't think I have ever seen Pet Sematary to this day. If I did, I'd probably just be disappointed.

track 15: stranded

Heart first showed up on my radar when I was about 11 or 12 and they released their big 1985 album, simply titled Heart. I had the 45s of the singles "What about love" and "These dreams." I remember that a few years later, my Mom's boyfriend's brother, Terry, had a poster of the Heart cover on his wall. I coveted it!



When their follow-up, Bad Animals came out in 1987, Mom got the cassette and we would listen to it on the ride to work at the swimming pool when I wasn't listening to Debbie Gibson or Martika. My favorite song was "Alone" but I also really loved "Who will you run to?" I think it may be one of the first cases of my mom and I really loving the same music. I'm not sure how crazy she was about all the hair metal and bubblegum pop. During the 80s, she listened to a lot of Kenny Rogers & Lionel Richie and stuff I liked, but wasn't in love with. But we both loved Heart a lot.



So much so that when Brigade came out we listened to it all the time, too. I still think that one of my all-time favorite Heart songs is "Stranded." When the band toured for Brigade, Mom and I went to see them play at the Miami Arena. Well, we sort of saw them- our seats were up in the top section and our view was obscured by some kind of column or something. Whatever, Heart rocked, even if at the time I didn't know that this band had such an amazing history behind them, that they had been recording for more than a decade before I had even heard them. I had no clue that these fierce women had rocked since the 70s. "Barracuda"? "Magic Man"? "Crazy on you"?? These were all lost on me at the time, because I only knew the 80s Heart. And I'm sure it's not cool to admit, but the truth is... I still like their 80s stuff better.

track 14: step by step

Summer of 1990: part two.

That summer Jordan Knight of New Kids in the Block made People Magazine's Most Beautiful People issue.
Hello, masturbation.

track 13: strangelove

Summer of 1990, part one:

I was getting into other kinds of music, gradually leaving the world of hair metal and teen pop behind. I remember having this compilation on cassette called Cutting Edge, part of a series called Rock the Planet. It had R.E.M., Erasure, 10,000 Maniacs, Laurie Anderson, Jesus & Mary Chain, Faith No More, The Replacements, Tanita Tikarim's wonderful "Twist in my sobriety" and my favorite, "Strangelove" by Depeche Mode.



I had probably heard "Strangelove" before, since it was originally from DM's 1987 album, Music for the Masses, and they were certainly on my radar by then because Violator had come out that spring. During that summer, my last before I was a senior in high school, I spent about a month in Central Florida, spending half the time with my mom's mom, my Granny, and half the time with my mom's dad & his wife. It was a pretty laid back summer, but I remember having fun.

One clear memory I have about the summer was picking up this special issue of NEWSWEEK called "The New Teens." It was sort of a field guide to the day's teenagers, or Generation X as we had been recently dubbed. There was one group, I can't remember what they called them, but it was basically your thrift shop clothes/Doc Martens wearing, Twin Peaks watching, alternative music listening kids. I was like, "Oh, that's me, then." Despite the fact that I wouldn't shop at a thrift store for another 6 months, wouldn't own a pair of Docs for another year or two and was just starting to get into alternative music. I had obsessively watched the first season of Twin Peaks when it aired that spring. Regardless, it was kind of a revelation to me because frankly, there WERE no kids like that in the Miami I was growing up in. At least nowhere I could see. And there I was, starting to like things that were outside of the popular AND coming to terms with being a gay teen. It was nice to think that I could fit in with some sort of group and maybe that article is what made me so open to befriending the people I would get to know later that year.

I played that Cutting Edge tape out and eventually my copy of Violator as well. I'm not a huge Depeche Mode fan, but "Strangelove" will always be a favorite. I present to you the MP3s of the songs from this amazing compilation, that I think shaped my musical tastes more than I realized until looking at it again:

dedication: Ellie Greenwich (extended remix)

Thinking about Ellie Greenwich yesterday made me think about my love of girl groups from the 60s. I made a playlist of her songs and spent both my train rides listening to The Crystals, The Shangri-Las and The Chiffons. Sadly, not The Ronettes.* Many of the songs that played were part of a box set I have from Rhino Records called One Kiss Can Lead To Another (The box set's title is even taken from a song Ellie wrote, "Good night baby" by The Butterflys). It was my favorite Christmas gift last year. My favorite Greenwich/Barry song is without a doubt, "Out in the streets," which is why I posted that video yesterday morning. It was originally performed by The Shangri-Las and later covered by Blondie, who was hugely influenced by The Shangri-Las and, I think, girl groups in general.

I think triggered my love for girl groups were two things, both at the beginning of my teenage years. In 1986, Eddie Money released a great song called "Take me home tonight," which featured Ronnie Spector of The Ronettes. In it, he name-checked her and The Ronettes great single, "Be my baby" - Eddie sang, "Just like Ronnie sang-" and Ronnie reprised her "Be my little baby." I loved it and remember searching through my family's record collection in search of music by The Ronettes.



The second thing was in 1988, when one of my all-time favorite movies came out: Adventures in Babysitting.. The film opens with Elisabeth Shue as Chris, preparing for a big date by lip-syncing to the classic Crystals song, "Then he kissed me." I. Love. That. Song! It even led me to finding a cheap compilation cassette of girl groups that I remember included "Lollipop" and "Soldier boy" and the marvelous "Dedicated to the one I love." I miss that cassette.

Anyway, the reason for this second post is because I realized that the two songs that ignited my love for the girl groups of the 60s were both Greenwich/Barry compositions. A great gem from the One Kiss collection is a song Ellie recorded herself, "You don't know." I've played that song a lot over the past 24 hours as well. I guess it's strange that in a week where we've lost a major politician like Ted Kennedy and a famous author like Dominick Dunne, it is the loss of this great songwriter, who hasn't made as many headlines, that actually affects me. But my priorities have always been different and Greenwich's music is in my heart and I'm eternally grateful for that.

Ending on an upbeat note, I found this incredibly odd mash-up combining Ellie's recording of "You don't know" with clips from a Disney movie about wood nymphs. But the sound quality is clear and the song is gorgeous, so play it!



Here's a playlist of some of my favorite Greenwich compositions:

dedication: Ellie Greenwich

One of the great songwriters of the Brill Building era, Ellie Greenwich is gone. Even if you don't know her name, you know her songs, classics performed by artists like The Ronettes, The Crystals, The Shangri-Las [and Blondie], Tina Turner [and Erasure]. Barry & Greenwich are just as important as Lennon & McCartney or Rodgers & Hammerstein for some of us. I'm sad but so thankful for the great tunes she gave us. I think I might watch Grace of My Heart today in her honor.

An article from the LA Times a friend shared with me.

Some favorite Greenwich/Barry compositions:
"Be my baby" - The Ronettes
"Then he kissed me" -The Crystals
"Da doo ron ron" -The Crystals
"Christmas (Baby please come home)"
"Do wah diddy diddy"
"River deep, mountain high" -Tina Turner/Erasure
"Leader of the pack" -Shangri-Las
"Out in the streets" -Shangri-Las/Blondie

...oh yeah and Cyndi Lauper's "Right track, wrong train!"

track 12: like the weather

Around 1988-89, I caught the video for "Like the weather" by 10,000 Maniacs and really loved the song. I liked it so much that I bought the cassette of In My Tribe.


The music I discovered was so different from the pop music and the rock n roll I'd been listening to. Some of the songs told stories, some of the lyrics were cryptic, the music more organic and layered than what I was used to. Some songs, like "What's the matter here" were truly about something other than romance and rebellion. It excited me. I started to say that I listened to "Progressive" music. This is a couple of years before people would invent the term "alternative." I loved Natalie Merchant's unusual voice and some of the songs from In my Tribe are still deeply beloved. I can play "Verdi cries" over and over and over again.



A year after I left high school, in 1992, they would find even more popularity with their superb album called Our Time In Eden. A truly perfect disc, it was more thoughtful and lush and beautiful than anything they'd ever done. It's a necessary album in my opinion. After Eden they released a live disc from their appearance on MTV Unplugged and soon Merchant would leave the group to follow her own path. With the exception of a couple of songs, her solo work never really connected with me. However, I can never forget how just listening to "Like the weather" managed to open my ears to a new type of music.

track 11: youth gone wild

In 1988 high school came around. So did Hair Bands. Of course at the time we called it heavy metal. Which is like calling Kenny G "Jazz". There is a big distinction between heavy metal (which it turned out, I don't like) and hair bands, which were a more mainstream, pop-oriented kind of hard rock also known as "glam metal." Now I can see how fans of true heavy metal must have felt about all of us kids calling Poison and Skid Row "heavy metal" bands when I think about Miles Davis or Louis Armstrong or Charles Mingus and see the Kenny G, Chris Botti & other background music makers of "smooth jazz" pop being called jazz musicians. Although, I do have a couple of late Miles albums that sound very "lite jazz" so maybe it's a case of disappointing evolution of a genre. But the Marsalis boys and Cassandra Wilson make me think that's not so.

But dude. I won't even listen to a jazz record for almost another decade. Right now it's 1988 and I am wearing ripped jeans and flipping through channels to get to MTV and watch Headbangers Ball. I loved Skid Row.



I remember listening to their debut, Skid Row on cassette all the time, going to the fair and getting all psyched when "Youth gone wild" played while we were on a ride. I also loved the ballads "I remember you" and "18 and life." Also, I think that even though I always remember having my first very strong boy crush on Mark Slaughter (okay, fine, and later on, Jordan Knight), it was actually on Rob Affuso, Skid Row's drummer. I know I had a poster with just him on it on my door for a while, which I believe replaced my Desperately Seeking Susan one. It was clearly the beginning of my trend for always crushing on the rhythm section. Give me a drummer or a bass player any day.



Skid Row was by far my favorite of the lot, but I remember listening to: Bon Jovi, Whitesnake, Poison, a little bit of Mötley Crüe, and yes, even Vixen, the ladies of Hair Metal. My love for this kind of rock was shared by my friend Kristi Perazzini. Our friendship began during the first year of high school, right when Skid Row and hair metal was starting to get to me. By our senior year we were pretty inseparable. I almost followed Kristi to Troy University in Alabama, but eventually lost touch with her. One of the last things I do remember about her is buying Skid Row's second album, Slave to the Grind from a music store out on Kendall Drive. We played it all the way home in her mom's giant Cadillac. Eventually I sold my copy of it for Sex. But that's another story.

After I graduated high school, I remember going to this concert festival thing at the Miami Seaquarium, mostly because Snake (that's Dave "The Snake" Sabo, the band's guitar player) was going to be there signing autographs. I have a few pictures. However, what I ended up remembering the most about that day was watching a musician I had never heard of called Chris Whitley play a set and being totally blown away. I think that Skid Row is together still, only without Rob or lead singer Sebastian Bach, who ended up having a recurring part on one of my favorite TV shows, Gilmore Girls. Only he didn't look as pretty as he did way back when:



Here's an excerpt from my short story Birdwatching that touches on my love for hair bands. You can read the whole story here, in three separate parts. Start from the bottom!
One day I was hanging out at the store, flipping through the S bin. Casey asked if I was doing some Mood Therapy Shopping.
"Come on, Benjamin. You always do this. You get depressed about something and find yourself buying a buncha cds that you'll listen to once and then forget."
"Casey, you know that having material things cheers me up. Now look, I'm in this whole... Hair Band Rock That I Listened To In Junior High mood. So I'm trying to decide between Slaughter and Skid Row, because unlike what you've assumed, I'm just in the mood for some cheesy eighties rock today. So. Okay, Mark Slaughter- way cuter than Sebastian Bach. But- Sebastian always wore those sexy snakeskin pants. Plus- the Skid Row album is way better than Slaughter's."
"Yeah, but didn't Sebastian Bach wear that shirt that said 'AIDS Kills Fags Dead'?"
I sigh and say, "Okay let's try Bon Jovi. I'm thinking 'Slippery When Wet'..."

b-side: love is a battlefield

While writing about Debbie Gibson and calling the radio station to dedicate "Lost in your eyes" to someone, I realized that I had to write about another great song. Years before Debbie, about five give or take, I literally waited an entire day for Y100 to play a song I had requested. It was probably '84 or so, when I had fallen hard for Pat Benatar's song "Love is a battlefield" but had not yet scored the cassette of Live on Earth. I called them at least three times, probably in the hopes of taping the song when it played. I waited and waited, roller skating circles around the patio and making sure that we had the radio on while we ate dinner, but to no avail. Until finally, as night fell outside, "Love is a battlefield" played. SUCCESS!



You HAVE to watch this video. It is only one of the greatest music videos ever in the history of the entire fucking universe. See, Pat ran away from home. And now she's selling herself for money. But she stands up for herself and her fellow ladies of the night. And they stand up for themselves by dancing. It is amazing.Watch it on youtube RIGHT NOW!

Now go download it ASAP because truly, this is one of the greatest pop songs ever.

track 10: lost in your eyes

A gigantic part of my teenage years revolved around the music of one Deborah "Debbie" Gibson. I loved Debbie from the minute I first heard her song "Only in my dreams." I totally had a crush on Debbie. I wore out my Out of the Blue cassette, not to mention the VHS of her music videos AND the Out of the Blue Tour Live video. She was so awesome AND she played piano AND wrote her own songs! She loved Billy Joel, I loved Billy Joel. It was major fandom.



The first single from her second album was "Lost in your eyes." I remember calling the radio station over and over again, asking them to play it. I believe that I even asked them to dedicate it to a girl in my French class that I had a crush on. Eventually I asked her to go to a school football game with me. She said maybe she'd see me there. She did not. *shrug*

I remember the day Electric Youth came out. I think it was the beginning of my habit of buying albums on their release dates like the total geek I am. It was even better than Out of the Blue and I would even get to see Debbie in concert that year. Two years later, when I got my first CD player for my 17th birthday, Debbie's Anything Is Possible was one of my other birthday gifts. I remember listening to Body Mind & Soul when I was in college, eating lunch at MDCC and listening to "Losin' myself" on my Discman over and over again. Her Think With Your Heart album was actually really good and very Billy Joelesque.



Even in the spring of 1997 I was still a devoted fan. My family and I had flown up to NYC for the first time, where we met up with my friend Lisa to see Rent (which was still pretty new and featured the original cast). We landed and spent the evening with Lisa and Shawn and a couple of other friends from the Ani DiFranco mailing list I was on. The next day, my mom, Dave and Lisa and I walked around the city. One thing on the itinerary was finding Debbie's new album, Deborah. It was being released independently and so far only through Tower Records in NYC. But not at the first Tower we went to. Nope, we had to go to the Tower in Trump Tower! At this point, it was raining. But we walked and walked in the rain just to get to Trump Tower and pick up my Debbie Gibson CD. I think we still had fun, but it was a bit of a waste to spend so much time of our trip hunting down a CD that I'd eventually be able to get online anyway. I guess I justified it to myself.

While I would eventually go on to live in NYC, Debbie- Deborah- would go on to make a lousy album called MYOB and pose for Playboy. However, her album of showtunes, Colored Lights is pretty good. But the truth is that I've moved on. Her early music lives on in my heart (and, I admit, on my ipod).

My favorite part of "Lost in your eyes" comes around 2 minutes into the song, when Debbie would stop playing and climb on top of the piano. Even today I am embarrassed to say, it gives me a big thrill. After all this time and despite everything I've experienced since, I am at heart a cheesy romantic.

liner notes: the music or the misery?

an all time favorite quote from Nick Hornby's excellent novel, High Fidelity:

"What came first, the music or the misery? People worry about kids playing with guns, or watching violent videos, that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery and loss. Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?"

my first ipod had that first sentence engraved on it. :)

track 9: more than you know

Another strong memory of the summer of 1988 revolves not around working at the swimming pool itself, but the commute to get there. Morning after morning, we'd get to the same stretch of road near Miami International Airport and get caught up in the gridlock. Traffic in Miami is particularly infuriating, but I think that at the time I minded it less. Mostly because it gave me more time to hear my favorite cassette of that summer: Martika.



Martika had been on the television show "Kids, Inc." (at the same time as the unbearable Sarah "Fergie" Ferguson) and went on to find a brief bit of fame with her self-titled debut. My favorite song was the catchy and addictive single, "More than you know" and I'm sure playing it over and over again (having to rewind to the beginning every time) drove my mom insane. Now she'd probably be better known for the ballad "Toy soldiers," which ended up being used in an Eminem track.

Playing any track from Martika will make me think of that morning traffic on my way to work, or of the ride home, my towel over the car seat still in my bathing suit and smelling of chlorine.

alternate track: Chaka Khan's song "Through the fire" was always on the radio in the mornings that summer and I loved it!

track 8: every breath you take

Despite the fact that The Police album Synchronicity came out in 1983, I remember the song "Every breath you take" still being pretty popular during one of the summers I worked at the Miami Springs Pool. I think I was there some time during the summers of 1985-86 and then again during the summer of 1988 or 89. I recall sitting up at the front window, looking out onto the street as someone's Police cassette played in the radio. Miami Springs is a small city in the northern part of Miami-Dade County. My mom worked nearby and my dad, who used to work a lot with the different parks and recreation departments in the county, had gotten me involved in volunteering over the summer as a teacher's aide for swimming lessons. The last summer I would actually get paid by working as a cashier on top of that. Every day I'd wake up and go with my mom who worked sort of nearby. I'd usually get there at 7:30, I think, and typically the first thing I'd do is put my stuff in my cubbyhole (I was already an insane reader back then and inevitably had a book, usually a Choose Your Own Adventure title) and run and dive into the cool blue water. Beginning at 8:00 in the morning we taught three swimming classes, each with a different section from Beginners to Advanced, and I worked with all the different levels. My favorite lesson to help out with was with the Advanced Swimmers and involved bringing in extra clothes to wear while jumping off the high board and then learning to use your clothes as makeshift floating devices. The third class of the day, however, was the absolute worst. The 10:00 session was when the kids from The Recreation Center across the pool would come in for their lessons. These kids were obnoxious and the pool was crowded with hooligans. After the lesson was over, they got to stay for 45 minutes or so of "free swim!" At 11:30 they went back to the Rec Center and the pool was closed until 1, when we opened for regular business. Some days I would walk down Westward Drive (or riding with my friend Amy in her red VW Bug that I coveted!) to this place called Artie's Subs. I'd order a steak sub with nothing on it. It was absolutely amazing and the last time I tried to go there for a nostalgic sandwich, it was gone.


[omg the high dive is gone?!?]

Most of the time, I would take advantage of the extra 90 minutes of having an Olympic sized swimming pool to myself! No line for the high dive! It was pretty much what I imagine heaven will be like. While out there on my own, I'd play the radio that we employees had plugged in at the window, facing out onto the pool.

However, the alternate track for this memory could have been... "Pumpin' and blowin'" from a little movie I like to call The Pirate Movie.


Once in a while, a few of us would go catch a movie after swimming lessons & if no one had to work when the pool re-opened at 1. Literally the only movie I remember seeing (and wanting to see again) was The Pirate Movie. Which was an 80s musical inspired by The Pirates of Penzance. With Christopher Atkins and Kristy McNichol. And yes, I had the soundtrack.

track 7: i think we're alone now

More proof that I didn't spring out of the womb fully formed and listening to thoughtful singer/songwriters. I loved Tiffany. Not as much as I loved Debbie Gibson or Martika. But I did sing along to "I think we're alone now" and swooned to the beautiful and almost country ballad, "Could've been." I don't remember much about what the rest of her album Tiffany sounded like. I'm not sure it would hold up today, but those two songs are keepers.



Tiffany sounded a bit like a teenage Stevie Nicks, vocally. Back then I never would've thought twice about a 15 year old singing the words "It could've been so beautiful/could've been so right/could've been my lover/every day of my life" but now of course I'd roll my eyes at the idea. It reminds me of when I was selling music in Miami and my boss played one of those damn Kids Bop albums. Listening to a group of children sing Dido's song "White Flag" - "I will go down with this ship/I won't put my hands up and surrender/there will be no white flag across my door/I'm in love and always will be" -was the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.

But at the time I was 13 and singing along with all my heart. Tiffany famously did a tour of malls around the country. I got to see her in Miami at Bayside mall. I was thrilled. After the show she was signing autographs at the Sam Goody music store. The entire audience trooped from the performance space to the store and waiting on line along the banister of the second floor of the mall. I stood in line as she walked towards us. I readied my camera. I was so nervous about making sure that I got the picture. I clicked a moment too soon. I ended up with a photo of my reflection in a window and Tiffany's arm peeking in from the edge of the shot. Inside, she autographed my Tiffany poster. I'm sure that I mumbled some words of thanks or vow of love or something.



The next year, I went with my dad and some of our family to Bayside to see the New Year's Eve fireworks. I took the opportunity to go back to that same Sam Goody shop and buy her second album, Hold an Old Friend's Hand. After that, Tiffany and I went our separate ways.

Tiffany's video for "I think we're alone now." SPOILER ALERT: She is singing in a mall.

liner note: excuse me while i kiss this guy

it's really funny how when i've been posting links to this site on my Facebook page, i go to double-check a lyric and discover that all these years i've been substituting one word for another. "pushing the day into the night time" rather than "wishing the day..." blows my mind. nothing i thought i knew is real anymore!!

this week's new music: Anna Ternheim's Leaving on a Mayday, Sugarland's Live on the Inside and Kings of Leon's Only By the Night. i'll add a widget with choice tracks from Anna & Kings of Leon below- the Sugarland is a Wal-Mart exclusive, but so worth it to hear Jennifer Nettles singing "Nightswimming," Beyoncé's "Irreplaceable" and my favorite Edie Brickell song, "Circle."

i may post another song today to make up for going an entire work-week without posting anything.

track 6: mad about you

By the summer of 1986, the Go-Go's had broken up (and broken my heart by doing so), but Belinda Carlisle had moved on and recorded a solo album. I probably purchased the 45 of "Mad About You" as soon as I had laid eyes on it.



The song itself is one of those upbeat and romantic pop songs that Belinda would specialize in and I don't know, maybe the song shaped the sort of music I'd listen to for the next 5 years or so. I'm not sure why I was drawn to love songs like this, because despite being on the verge of teenhood, I wasn't really crushing on anyone. Except for the singers of the songs: Belinda, Martika, and Debbie Gibson. Maybe it was simply because these songs just make me happy, and still do. The b-side was a slinky and sophisticated pop song called "I never wanted a rich man" that I hadn't heard for years until recently, when I finally bought the album on CD.

The first time I purchased her debut, Belinda, it was on cassette. I actually remember it very well because it was during that summer when I went to Los Angeles to visit my Mom's side of the family. In my memory it's one of the very first things that happened there, we went to a Peaches near the ocean and I bought Belinda. It was the soundtrack of that time for me and it's unbelievable that I didn't wear the tape out. I remember riding around in the back of a truck with my Grandfather and his wife Dorothy, her daughter Doris, my California cousins, Dwayne and Veronica and my Aunt Della and her husband Mark. I remember going to Magic Mountain and testing my roller coaster mettle. I remember driving through Beverly Hills and one morning's very slight earthquake. Being on a long cross-country flight and not being the bit afraid.



I don't know why it was so difficult to find on CD, but I recently got it and listened to it on my ipod. I recognized every note and lyric despite not having played the cassette for at least 15 years. The music you love just gets in your subconscious and stays. I first played it on a train ride to work. Sometimes I find myself in these reveries where I think about my life now and how I'd never have imagined this is what it would be like. I never expected to move so far from home. Imagine going back 23 years and explaining to that kid listening to Belinda on his Walkman that one day he'd be listening to the very same songs while on a train looking out at the daily sight of the Brooklyn Bridge. Sometimes I wonder how I ever made it this far and how I ever got here. I'd go crazy if it weren't for this music, my constant companions, the songs that made me.

Speaking of Los Angeles, here's the video on youtube. Check out links below for Belinda Carlisle's CDs or MP3s!

track 5: fight for your right

My younger brother David used to have Licensed to Ill on tape. Along with his best friend Nicky, he would listen to it all the time. I think they even pretended to be the Beastie Boys, rapping along. I was 12 or 13 at the time and I fucking HATED it. I seem to recall actually planning to somehow sabatoge (heh) the tape, but I never did. At the time I was still listening to Madonna, The Go-Go's and was on the verge of the bubblegum teenagedom goodness of Debbie Gibson and Tiffany.



More than a decade later, a friend would play some of Ill Communication and Check Your Head for me and I'd grow to really appreciate the Beasties. So much so that when Hello Nasty came out I was buying it bright & shiny on it's Tuesday release. I loved "Super disco breakin'" and "Intergalactic" but what was funny was that by that point, David was no longer a fan. *shrug*

track 4: like a virgin

I know, I know, how surprising, a homosexual writing about Madonna. Look, we're not going to get all crazy here. It's hard to write something about someone who has already had everything you can imagine written about them. I'm not going to talk about her being some brilliant artist (although she has to be some kind of mastermind), a great singer (I don't think she is) or the second coming (because that's Kylie). But let's face it, she's one of those few who has gone from pop star to superstar to icon. Whatever you think about what she does, you have to admire the fact that she's risen up with a hell of a lot of determination and yeah, hard work. She's been doing this for 27 years now and has managed to stay current and just as vital as she was when she began. I don't think that's something you can say about any of her peers- and let's face it, there are exactly two other people in that iconic category: Michael Jackson and Prince. Above all, and in the simplest of terms: I just like her music.

I remember quite clearly hearing "Borderline" and Madonna for the first time. I was in my babysitter's van with her sons and my brother. She had left us in the van with the radio on while she went into some store. I was sitting upside down in the front passenger's seat when the song came on. I thought it was Irene Cara. I loved it. I collected the 45s of "Borderline" and "Lucky star" and wore them out. Our babysitter had cable television, which at the time was something so exciting and new. MTV! MTV playing music videos! I remember watching the video for "Do you really want to hurt me?" by Culture Club and thinking "she's pretty!" Oh, little Ricky... Madonna was all over MTV and I loved her.



In November of 1984 Madonna's second album, Like a Virgin came out. At some point, I had saved up my allowance and was going to get the album at last. I am sure that it was all I could talk about, because even to this day discs that make music or movies play make me very, very excited. My dad did not approve. In fact, I'm pretty sure that he told me I was not to buy the album. Friday night, International Mall, Camelot Music. I disobeyed. An "Angel" I was not. Although now I can totally understand not wanting your 10-year old to buy an album with a song called "Like a virgin." I don't think I was punished, beyond probably an admonishing "Oh, Ricky..." However, for years I would associate buying Like a Virgin with my parents divorce, because as I remember, that night after our trip to the mall was when they sat us down and gave us the news. It was definitely the beginning of a rocky time in my life. But Mom assures me that had I not purchased a Madonna album, the outcome would have been the same. In the spring of 1985, when my dad had moved out, I remember him calling to see if we wanted to go to the movies with him one weekend. I don't know if I was mad about the whole divorce thing or if it was just me being the selfish prick that I can be, but I said to him, "The only movie out that I even want to see is Desperately Seeking Susan and you hate Madonna!" I was only eleven, but I think that's the meanest thing I ever said to my dad.



Surprisingly, all of these associations didn't stop me from liking Madonna any less. I had the poster for Susan on my bedroom door. I wanted that jacket so bad. I have most of the 45s for her singles from the first three albums, including a blue 45 for "True blue" that I loved. To this day the smell of patchouli oil makes me think of my cassette of Like a Prayer (still my favorite Madonna album). Oddly enough, when Erotica came out on October 20, 1992, my dad gave me a ride to Spec's in South Miami, where I bought the CD the day it came out. But I didn't listen to it until I was home and alone. On March 3, 1998, the day Ray of Light was released, I listened to every previous album while I waited for UPS to deliver my copy. I would listen to "Frozen" on repeat play forever, picturing the spectacular video by Chris Cunningham. Since then, I've been less enthusiastic about Madonna's music. It wasn't until 2008's Hard Candy that I truly loved an album more than just a few select songs, but whatever may come, and as much as I might roll my eyes at myself for being such a stereotypical 'mo, I know that her music is always going to be part of me.

track 3: the tide is high

One LP I remember loving was a compilation released by KTEL Records in 1981 called Full Tilt. I can't remember what many of the tracks were, but there are two that I will never forget. One was the Alan Parsons Project song, "Eye in the sky" and the other one was Blondie.

I played "The tide is high" over and over again like a madman. When my parents had a patio built behind our house in the early/mid 80s, I would plug my Mickey Mouse record player in and turn the patio into my own personal roller rink. I'd stay out there for hours, skating around in circles and singing along to whatever record or radio song I was listening to. I would sometimes imagine that one of our neighbors would hear it and think, "My God! That kid can sing!" and I'd be catapulted into a life of fame and fortune.
This never happened.

What's interesting is that as much as I loved "The tide is high" and seem to remember loving "Rapture," I never really got into Blondie until years later, when the soundtrack to Muriel's Wedding came out. It had "The tide is high" and it sparked a forgotten memory for me about how much I loved the song. I also flashed back to some ABBA memories, but that's a story for another time. I immediately checked out more Blondie and Parallel Lines, the two-disc Platinum Collection as well as the recently released Remixed Remade Remodeled became constant residents of my Discman.



It was a revelation to discover that there was more to Blondie than the polished new wave pop of "Tide" and "Heart of glass." I love the ragged and raw stuff like "Hanging on the telephone" and "X offender." I became obsessed with "Dreaming" and "Atomic" and to this day I think that "Fade away and radiate" is one of the most bewitching songs ever.

Check out the video for "The tide is high" or download the track from Amazon:

track 2. vacation

The first full LP I recall having (that is, the first one that wasn't Disney-related children's music) is The Go-Go's second album, Vacation from 1982.



I got it probably a year or two after it had been out. I was 9 or 10 years old and they were my favorite band. Vacation was a gift from my Uncle Ron, who was visiting Miami with his wife Michelle. There was a mall that would have been pretty new at the time where the family would usually go to every Friday night. My brother and I would spend our allowances on G.I. Joe figures at Toys R Us (where I'd end up working a decade later). We could usually afford one a week. Or I'd buy 45s at Camelot Music or Record Bar. Then we'd all go have dinner in the food court, Taco Viva or Sbarro's Pizza. After, we'd go home and my mom and Granny would watch "Dallas" on TV. On weekends, my brother and I got to sleep in our sleeping bags in the living room after staying up late watching "GLOW: The Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling!" Anyway, I remember going with my uncle and his wife to International Mall and picking out the record. I think when we got home, I immediately played it on my little Mickey Mouse record player for them out in the patio.

The Go-Go's would continue to be my favorite band during the 80s, despite the fact that they broke up after their third disc, Talk Show came out. I actually saw them on the tour for Talk Show with my mom. Okay, so usually when asked what my first concert was, I say with pride, "The Go-Go's!" But it's not 100% true. It's the first concert I went to as a fan. In reality, my first show was Melissa Manchester. My mom was going to see her with some friends, but when a friend was ill, she agreed to let me go instead. I don't remember where it was. But I had a set of binoculars. However, in 1985-86, when The Go-Go's came to Miami I somehow got my mom to get tickets for us to go. I was so excited. And then I got sick. No matter. I went to the show anyway, at Sunrise Musical Theatre. The opening act was INXS, who I didn't know at the time. It might have been around the time Listen Like Thieves was released, but definitely before Kick came out and everyone knew INXS. All I remember was that they were loud and I was miserable and during intermission, vomited in the restroom. Finally, The Go-Go's came out and you know, I don't remember much because it was so long ago, but I'm sure they rocked. Once the set was over, we made our way out as I was still not feeling well. Once we were out in the lobby, heading out the door we heard them start up again for an encore. One of my favorite t-shirts ever was my Talk Show tour shirt. It's still somewhere in a drawer, and obviously far too small for me now, but it's one of the few musical souvenirs of my youth that I would still wear with pride. For a few years, I had this amazing poster of the band above my bed. I had got it at Atlantis, this water theme park, of all places. It was my favorite poster that was eventually torn (by mistake...?) by my stepbrother. Every once in a while I check out ebay to see if I can find one like it, but I've never seen anything even close. To this day, hearing the title track, or frankly any song from their first three albums, makes me want to jump up and down with joy. The Go-Go's and their music are always going to be favorites of mine.

Watch the video and do "The Belinda!"