bonus track: Donde esta Santa Claus?

Until recent years, my favorite time of the year has always been Christmas. It may be due to the fact that December found us celebrating my birthday, then my mom's and then Christmas, so it's always been an exciting month. As a kid, December could never get here fast enough for me. One of my favorite parts of December was also Christmas music. We always listened to tons of it at my house. But even better was singing in the school choir and giving our yearly holiday concert!

At Cypress Elementary we had a music teacher, Miss Paulen, who I adored and is probably a big reason I love music so much. In my memory she looks like Jane Adams. But what's interesting is that for someone who has a very bad memory about my younger days, one of my earliest memories, one that is indelibly written on my brain is being in kindergarten and learning a song from Miss Paulen, perched on a stool and strumming her guitar. "Red and yellow and pink and green / purple and orange and blue / i can sing a rainbow..." I took part in the school choir every year of elementary school. I remember doing a duet at one of the concerts with some girl, who was sick the day we were reprising the show for the younger grades at a school assembly, leaving me to sing "My favorite things" alone. I remember one concert during my 6th grade year was a Cabbage Patch Kid musical. There were two Ricks in choir and one of us was supposed to be the understudy for whoever played the guy who discovered the Cabbage Patch. When we did the show for the school, Miss Paulen asked Rick to take over and I excitedly went backstage, jumping out to act all amazed at the Cabbage Patch Kids growing in the garden (growing in the sun), only to see the other Rick as I walked offstage looking SERIOUSLY pissed. Oh my god, I was a grade school Eve Harrington!

Anyway, the point is that there was one song we used to sing with Miss Paulen every Christmas that I was wild about, because I had never heard it on any of my parents Christmas records and didn't get to sing it any other time... and it goes like this:



Hope you all have a Merry Christmas!
Rick

track 60: i want you

I went on a cruise to celebrate the wedding of my friend Rosie. One thing I remember about it was that there was this guy who reminded me a lot of Nick Brendon- this was right around the time Buffy had started- and I kept seeing him and really wanted to talk to him. But didn't. And Savage Garden played like 100x, forcing me to like this song.
But what I remember most was how beautiful and peaceful it was, sitting alone in the dark on the deck of the ship, out on the water, getting lost in the stars above. Total bliss. I wish I could feel that way all the time.

-------
June 14, 1997:
Subj: the cruise and everything after
Date: 97-06-14 04:22:39 EDT
From: RbSayre

So I went on this cruise to nowhere tonight.

Really cool. My first cruise. The food kinda sucked, but a girl bought me a drink so I danced with her. I lost 10 bucks at the freaking slots. I had 3 rum and cokes. I tried desperately to find the guy who was sort of a Nick Brendon lookalike, to no avail (until after we had departed the ship and I was waiting for everyone, then he sat right next to me and by then I'd lost my nerve.) I spent the last hour or maybe hour and a half so peaceful and content, sitting on the top deck at the back of the boat with the sea breeze and the stars. And at night it's so dark you can't see where the sky ends and the water begins, so it's almost as if you're flying in outer space...

But maybe that's the 3 rum and cokes. Shit, I was gonna say something else.
Oh yeah, old people dancing the YMCA are funny.




next time: you're giving me crooked answers • i'm cracking your little code • i'm learning another language • so full it's about to explode

track 59: come to me

In 1997, we Baleheads found out that object of our affection, Christian Bale would be appearing at EPCOT Center in Orlando to present at the Discover Awards. Lisa and I made plans to go. We were both really involved in the online world of Christian Bale, who was, back then, somewhat of an internet cult star. It wasn't until his post-American Psycho work in the 2000s that more people began to recognize the awesomeness that is Bale. We were a bunch of people who knew him from stuff like Newsies and Little Women. Lisa & I were involved in a small mailing list that included the webmaster for Christian's official site and had a bit of an inside track. As such, I had at one point sent a mixtape (of course) to Christian through this guy [who isn't associated with CB anymore]. It included a remix of a Björk song, "Come to me," since I knew CB loved her music. I was pretty sure he'd be impressed to hear this b-side (the Black Dog remix).




Sadly, he never showed up at my door to declare his undying love for me inspired by a Björk song. I'll always have affection for Christian because his movies have been a big part of my life. I also really, truly think he is one of our best actors, despite making the occasionally bad movie (but that's just me having an aversion to blockbusters & wishing he'd get back to indie films) and having, well... a bit of madness. Once BATMAN BEGINS came out, it was harder for me to believe that this was the guy who used to be our little secret. There are still glimpses of him, from time to time, but the old excitement when a new Christian Bale movie comes out isn't there anymore. Anyway, for posterity, here are the original e-mails I sent to our little mailing list after meeting the man:

June 2, 1997- E-mail to CBEC recounting the tale of meeting Christian Bale @ Disney
Subj: Chip, Dale, 'n Christian Bale
Date: 97-06-02 17:08:37 EDT

Hi everybody!!!!!!!!!
Well, I'm back from Orlando & before I go to work I figured I'd share the story! As you know, Lisa & I went up for the Discover Awards (We missed you Rox!! :( But we sent you the Raddest postcard!!). We arrived in Orlando on Friday afternoon & had lunch at the Planet Hollywood there. (AMY!! While we didn't see ANY CB stuff, they did have part of the bus from SPEED as well as the outfit Keanu wore in it and I did have my photo taken with my hand in his handprint, so I now have the same photo from 2 different PH's- the other one being my hometown PH!!) We then went to see THE LOST WORLD which was really good fun (holes, sure, but forget about it!!).
Saturday was the day of the Discover Awards, so we headed out to EPCOT at 8 in the morning to be there in time for it to open at 9. By the time we dragged ourselves- well honestly hopped & skipped- our way out we had been in the park for SIXTEEN HOURS!! Fortunately it was a pretty nice day out, except for one downpour. Luckily we were eating at the time. :-)
Anyway, during the day we ended up in the America Pavilion of the World Showcase & found the theatre where the Discover Awards would be taking place. Much to our happiness & excitement, they were in the middle of rehearsal!! But um... we didn't see Christian. Granted, leaning on a garbage bin behind the roped in auditorium wasn't what you'd call a prime viewing location... We did, however, see LeVar Burton & a magician named James "The Amazing" Randi. (As opposed to "the Amazing" James Randi... I don't know why) This was right before lunch & we had reservations & after seeing that Christian didn't look to be there, we began our trek to the restaurant- but then- Lo & Behold- a sign for the awards with a list of presenters. There, right below Mr. Burton's name, was CHRISTIAN BALE. This, I think, is when Lisa & I really got hit by the fact that we were going to see Christian in person!!
The awards began later in the evening- at 9:30, after the fireworks took place. Shortly after 9:00 they began to let in park guests who wanted to see the awards. There were many people there dressed up who were clearly nominees or invitees, who sat in the front rows, while the park guests, in t-shirts & shorts- mostly- sat in the rear. The sections were separated by a big walkway. Lisa & I (and David) took our seats in the front row of the rear section- right on the walkway. We sat and um, LISTENED to the Fireworks display (which really helped my headache ) and simultaneously kept an eye out for Christian. The Fireworks ended & a radio played songs. First the theme to the Pink Panther, then, much to our fear & loathing, the Macarena. In terror I covered my ears, searching the crowd for Christian!! But my eyes did not find him. No, they found instead, a woman in a horrid peach outfit. . . DANCING THE MACARENA!!!!!!!!!!!!! I tried to look away, but couldn't. Kind of like when you're driving past an accident scene & you know it's terrible, but you still stare? Suddenly, Lisa punched my arm and pointed to the guy who'd just walk past us.....Christian!!


um. i've got to go to work now. ;-) we'll continue this later.



ooh the suspense is gonna kill you isn't it???

rick


June 3, 1997- E-mail finishing the tale of meeting Christian Bale @ Disney
Subj: All that & a bag of oranges!
Date: 97-06-03 00:16:42 EDT


Ok so I looked up to see Christian & Valentina walking past us. Cursing Macarena Lady, I tried to get a better view, but they were being seated further down. Lisa and I sat there in an amazed silence for a bit. I have to admit that at first Christian seemed a bit unapproachable, intimidating maybe- Standing tall in a black suit with a burgundy shirt... he was sporting his MOVIELINE look (long wavy hair) and he seemed pretty tan, but in our photo he looks pale, so who knows. The lighting wasn't quite stellar. Valentina (Cervi, of PORTRAIT OF A LADY Pansy fame!!) was accompanying him, by the way. Ok so the awards began with this incredibly interesting performance artist, Denny Dent, who demonstrated something called the Two Fisted Art Attack!! He had 2 paint brushes in each hand, a huge black canvas, and some music & did 2 paintings while we watched. The second one, I'm sure Lisa will agree, was an INCREDIBLE portrait of Jimi Hendrix. I'm still just amazed. I wonder what CB thought of him?

After that, the Discover Awards REALLY began. They were presenting awards in 7 categories: Aviation & Aerospace, Automotive & Transportation, Computer Hardware & Electronics, Computer Software, Environment, Sight, and Sound. Christian was, as you probably know through the web page & Harrison's e-mail, presenting the Environmental award. I was actually pretty surprised because the awards were sort of interesting. Before each winner was announced, the video monitors on either side of the stage showed each of the nominees along with their inventions. Sure, the jokes were a bit stale. . . Okay, mostly years old with mold growing on them, but it was an awards show, it should've been expected!!

To present the Enviromental Award, Christian rode up from the rear entrance of the amphitheater in an Electric Car that was one of the nominated inventions!
He was introduced as "Actor Christian Bale" and "The Hottest star on the Internet" while a video collage with scenes from SWING KIDS and LITTLE WOMEN played on the monitors. He then stood behind the podium and said something to the effect of how honored he was to be there. The Nominees video began to play & he watched it on a monitor that must have been under the podium, fidgeting a bit, finally putting his hands in his pockets (SEE: NEWSIES). The envelope with the winner's name was delivered by a really neat robot that was designed to operate like an insect! However, the robot was going a bit slow, so Christian eventually walked over & snatched the envelope from it. :-) He announced the winner- Subhendu Guha- and then walked back to the audience, giving Mr. Guha a congratulatory pat on the back. Since there were the two large monitors we essentially had Christian to the left, Christian to the right, and Christian in the middle!

The Awards ended soon after Christian had presented the award and we found ourselves getting up to leave. Christian & Valentina were making their way back towards us, but like I said before, we were a bit wary of approaching him. However, I caught a glimpse of him speaking to another fan & the serious guy we'd seen before had disappeared. He was smiling and chatting and so I figured, what the heck?! I walked over and said "Excuse me, Mister Bale?" Yes, I called him Mister Bale. . . And I think he got a kick out of that. Anyway, I shook his hand & told him that I'm a big fan of his & that I was glad to meet him. I actually had a bit of a conversation with him & I totally had to fight this uncontrollable urge to use the word "jolly" I did however, get a laugh out of him at one point, which was cool. [The laugh was when I mentioned that we were expecting to see his webmaster at the event & had heard that he resembled Keanu Reeves] The whole thing lasted probably a minute, maybe less. Anyway, I then turned & said hello to Valentina. I said something about being glad to meet her too & she looked a bit surprised & I was like, you were fabulous in POAL- I shook her hand too (she was wearing a rather pretty dress, but she must've been dying from the heat because I know she had a sweater or something with long sleeves on!!). Anyway, she was really, really sweet! So by the time I turned around again, Lisa had said hello to Christian & David was all ready to take our photo with him! We have the most awesome photo of us on either side of Christian, who's wearing a smile! So then there were other Baleheads around, so we thanked Christian & I bid Valentina goodnight (although i don't think she heard me :( she seemed a bit overwhelmed by the Baleheads maybe?) and walked off into the night.

All I remember after that was that my headache was gone, we were bouncing rather than walking, and I kept looking at my hand & talking like Nell. Needless to say, we were thrilled. Of course all the way to the car we were saying- oh, we should have told him that he was the reason we met & became such great friends, or oh, I should've asked him about VELVET GOLDMINE [which he was making at the time], or you know, "how's Mojo?" [his dog], but you know what? It was absolutely perfect the way it was and I wouldn't change a moment of it!

We really had no intentions of actually MEETING Christian here! We figured we'd go & be able to see him at the award show & that was it. I know how much we all respect Christian, how much he means to us, so to meet him in person meant more than I can font. It was a real pleasure to share a few moments with him and I'm extremely glad that Christian took the time for us!! What can I say? We've always known that he's got class. :-)

Rick!!
(who hasn't had a decent rest since friday morning & is now going to go to sleep for at LEAST 14 hours. )

p.s. 2 more things-
#1- i have a copy of my program for the awards & i'm currently hitting myself over the head for not getting one for each of us, because I'm sure they had some left over... however, if any of you wants a copy let me know- there's not a mention of CB or anything, but it's got a list of the nominees & their inventions, etc. :-)
#2- Christian has the touch. I think he cured my headache. I've always said that he was a god.





next time: ch-ch-cherry cola

track 58: hallelujah

May 29, 1997

I don't know how I first heard the news that Jeff Buckley had gone missing in Memphis. I vaguely remember watching MTV at one point and learning that he had gone into the river and disappeared. It was heartbreaking. It was a huge loss for the world of music.

I remember being home months later, sitting in the living room listening to Grace and waiting for UPS to deliver my copy of Sketches for My Sweetheart the Drunk, which was released despite being largely unfinished. Since then a lot of Jeff's live recordings, which are genius, have been released and that's how I tend to remember him the most, kidding around with Edith Piaf impressions and singing his beautiful songs.


next time: you know that i adore you

track 57: the end of my pirate days

I had heard Mary Chapin Carpenter's single, "Shut up and kiss me" and really liked it. I was familiar with her name because she had worked with the Indigo Girls in the past. I bought the cassette single for "Shut up and kiss me" but found myself utterly in love with the b-side, a gorgeous ballad called "The end of my pirate days."



Now, Mary is usually classified as a country singer, but her music, and especially her album The Stones in the Road is much harder to put into a box. She writes literate, sophisticated and thought-provoking lyrics, peppered with the occasional country tune (like the single). Stones is her least "country" sounding album, and also my favorite work of hers. My mom also became a fan of Chapin and in April of 1997, we even got to see her play (with my friend Armando) at the Sunrise Musical Theatre. It was the same place we had gone to see the Go-Go's 12 years earlier. Very different show.



next time: well i heard there was a secret chord that David played and it pleased the Lord...

live: Fran Healy & Andy Dunlop from Travis at Joe's Pub 11.12.09

"If you ever get lonely, just go to the record store and visit your friends." That quote from Cameron Crowe's most perfect film, Almost Famous, is one of the best ways to describe the way that I feel about music. One of the whole points of The Songs That Made Me is that there are some songs, some music that just feels like home. For me, just listening to the Indigo Girls or Bic Runga or Aimee Mann is enough to settle my nerves, to help me find peace. It's the next best thing to getting a hug from someone i love or a delicious home-cooked meal.



One band that always makes me feel that way is Travis. I'll only tell you a bit about it, as I plan to cover them a couple times in future blogs, but I didn't know, when I received a copy of The Man Who for Christmas nine years ago, that these four Scots would ever mean so much to me. Their music has held me up and allowed me to let go for almost a decade now. I saw them for the first time at Irving Plaza here in New York a couple of years ago. When I came to NYC I told myself that if given the chance I would not miss Travis, Bic Runga or Kylie Minogue - artists who would never play in Miami. (I did get to see Bic, but missed Kylie when she played here last month. But Florence + the Machine made up for it!) So seeing Travis was a big deal for me.



My friend & co-worker, Lesley, was a huge fan of the band and when I ran into her after the Irving Plaza show, she made a point to introduce me to Andy, Fran and Neil. My first Travis show couldn't have been any better. Last year, Fran played a solo benefit at Housing Works, in which he played songs from the Travis catalog in chronological order, much like he and Andy were doing with this tour. (Tonight, I mentioned that I had seen that show & he said it was sort of the inspiration.) I also saw the band play at Webster Hall this spring. As much as I love seeing the Indigo Girls play and as much as I stand by my statement that Florence + the Machine was the most amazing concert I've ever seen, Travis is my favorite band to watch live. They love what they do- you can see it as they play. They love what they're doing, the fans love hearing them and there is an amazing energy created by all of this positivity that is unlike anything you can imagine.

Tonight was my fourth Travis show (or... my 2.75th?) and once again, my nervousness about crowded places and anxiety about being out in general disappeared as soon as Fran took the stage and played "20." The comfort, the bright feeling that everything is going to be okay took over and the rest of the night was just a non-stop high. Fran & Andy went through the Travis discography, telling stories about the songs (Who knew that "Cheers" and the Michael Douglas movie Falling Down inspired songs like "Driftwood" and "Falling down"?) and playing their rock n roll hearts out. My favorite moment was Fran's story about the French DJ asking if "Why does it always rain on me?" was written because "it is raining in your soul??"



(OK my favorite moment was the sexy Jake Gyllenhaal photos in the slideshow, but that's not really musically relevant. Another favorite moment was Fran schooling the douchebags who stood next to me for most of the set TALKING the entire time. Why?)
I also loved what Fran said about "Slideshow" and about the way that music is so important, how something like Joni Mitchell's "Blue" is priceless... worth more than a million dollars. It's what I write this blog to try to express.

After the show, Fran & Andy were signing stuff and meeting people. I waited in line nervously- there's always something that makes me feel awkward about meeting people I admire so much. But I got to shake their hands and THANK them for giving us all this music, for helping us get through everything... A month ago I thought that I was going to be able to move back home, that I'd be with my family for Thanksgiving, my birthday, my mom's birthday, Christmas... Finding out that it wasn't happening was a heartbreaking thing. I spend a lot of the time trying to distract myself with music, books or movies. I try to be patient and know that if anything, I'm going to make it happen in the spring. In the meantime, I have moments where my need to be home, my need for comfort is almost overwhelming. Tonight despite the crowds, despite the idiots talking nearby, despite everything, I heard the music and my breaking heart was soothed. The only way I know how to put it in words is that tonight, I felt at home. Thank you Fran & Andy.



PS thanks to Fran for getting this shot with my crap phone camera!

track 56: wide open spaces

March 28, 1997.
For some reason, we didn't think that there would be an opening act at the Paula Cole show because it hadn't been mentioned anywhere that I could find. However, a singer/songwriter called Holly Palmer had opened for Paula in Atlanta the week before. I confess that when we walked into the Carefree Theatre and I saw a poster advertising Holly as the opening act, I went "ugh" simply because I was all about Paula. Sometimes opening acts can just seem like an unwelcome detour. However, when Holly took the stage (accompanied only by guitar player Robin Macatangay), she won me over utterly and completely. Her performance was fantastic, powerful... explosive. Literally. While she was covering an Aretha Franklin song, one of the lights to the left of the stage blew, scaring the hell out of everybody with a sound like a gunshot followed by shattering glass. Robin wasn't fazed- I swear he didn't miss a lick. Holly paused for a moment, said, "excuse me..." and kept right on singing. Between sets, I hurried to the back to buy a copy of her self-titled debut. En route, I got a bit lost and eventually realized that I was in the line for the ladies room. (I didn't expect it to be going so far back!) Once I got my bearings, I approached the counter and found Holly there! I congratulated her on such a great show and asked her to be careful of exploding lights. It was the first of many awkward post-show conversations with Holly, just because I tend to be awkward when I'm around people I'm a fan of... and with this show, I certainly became a fan. To this day, Holly is one of my all-time favorites and a favorite live performer. She signed my CD, "To Rick, Thanks for asking!"

Here's a clip of Holly singing "Carmen" with Paula Cole, much like they did at the encore of our show:


I could not stop listening to my copy of Holly Palmer. I remember taping it so that I could listen to it at work and singing along with "Wide open spaces" and "Come lie with me" while I unpacked boxes and stocked video games and crushed on Orlyn M. I kept my ears open for more Holly... but nothing came. In 1999, her song "A rose (by any other name)" appeared on the soundtrack for Forces of Nature and she was on tour with David Bowie. Her next album was to be called Tender Hooks. But it wasn't released.



Four years later, she showed up dueting with Michael Bublé on the theme song for Down with Love and a single called "Just so you know" was released from a forthcoming album called I Confess... but that album never came out either.



It wasn't until 2004 that Holly released both I Confess and the unreleased 2000 album, Tender Hooks through CD Baby and her own Bombshell Records. It was jarring to hear "Just so you know" after listening to Holly Palmer for years- more so to hear I Confess, which featured collaborations with Dr. Dre and Motown legend Lamont Dozier.



Once I heard the cool and dizzying Tender Hooks I could really see how Holly went from point A to B and as amazing as both of those albums are, I surprised myself by falling hard for I Confess and appreciating it as the smart pop gem that it is. Despite big label troubles, Holly released two fantastic albums to go along with her lovely debut. I not only became a dedicated fan, but learned that sometimes the opening act isn't a detour, but the destination; I had become a much bigger fan of Holly's than the singer she opened for! Years later, when I moved to New York, Holly released her fourth album, Songs for Tuesday and I got to see her play several more times. But that's another story...

In the meantime, visit Holly's website and give her music a try!

next time: and those who need adventure, they can sail the seven seas • and those who search for treasure, they must live on grander dreams...

track 55: me

Paula Cole, who I had seen open for Melissa Etheridge, had a new album out. The first single was "Where have all the cowboys gone?" I liked it. But I had no idea what to expect from the album, This Fire. It was leaps and bounds better than her debut, Harbinger and remains her finest work. "Cowboys" and the other well-known single/Dawson's Creek theme, "I don't want to wait" aren't the best bits. The best stuff are the darker, soul-baring songs like "Tiger" or "Throwing stones." I remember singing along with "Throwing stones" one day at home by myself and surprising myself at the strength of my voice and how much I felt that song. And awkward once I realized that the men who mowed the lawns in our neighborhood were right outside as I was belting out "call me a bitch in heat and i'll call you a motherfucker and we'll throw stones until we're dead!" The highlight of the album for me is called "Me." It's something I identified with completely, one of those songs that is so close to who I am that it's almost as though I could have written it myself. Here's a video of Paula performing the song earlier this year:



it's me who is my enemy
me who beats me up
me who makes the monsters
me who strips my confidence
and it's me who's too weak
and it's me who's too shy
to ask for the thing i love

Story of my life. To this day This Fire is an album that feels like home to me. I had been lucky enough to see Paula play at a free festival in Miami during January. My mom and I went to Coconut Grove on a cold (for Miami) day. We found out that Paula would be playing much later on and went to see Portrait of a Lady with Christian Bale. We came back and saw some of Duncan Sheik's set, then Paula played, freezing her ass off on the stage. I remember being distinctly annoyed with the people standing near me who talked through the entire set, only to be quiet when she played "Cowboys." Then we went to Denny's and had mozzarella sticks & chicken fingers. It's one of my favorite days ever.




Paula came back to Florida for a proper show at the Carefree Theatre in West Palm Beach, where I had seen Tori Amos and E a few years earlier. Lisa came down to see the show with me on March 28, 1997. Walking from the parking lot to the theatre, I saw Paula walking down the sidewalk, her headphones on and people oblivious to the fact that it was her. I attempted a wave and a "Hi Paula!" but she was in a zone.
The next track will share the story of Paula's opening act, but here's an excerpt of an e-mail I wrote after the show with details of Paula's set:

When Paula took the stage it was her and Jay [Bellerose, the fantastic drummer who has also played with Holly Palmer and countless others], they played "Happy home" together and then the band came out for "Throwing stones." I have to say that I think it was a really different experience seeing Paula with a band. They rocked, of course, but what always amazes me about Paula is that seeing her on the piano, with only Jay accompanying her doesn't rock any less- you know what I mean? And while there are a few songs that I prefer without a band (tiger, i am so ordinary, hitler's brothers) it was amazing nonetheless. Paula introduced "I don't wanna wait" as the "next smash single" from the album and did the mask thing on "Where have all the cowboys gone?" [She had this masquerade mask that she'd perform with] She used the finger-cymbals on "Road to dead" which was cool. That's probably my least favorite Paula song, but I was mesmerized by the fact that she could handle singing AND those finger-cymbals- It was pretty good! "Carmen" was one of the songs she did in the encore. She played guitar and Holly Palmer joined her to sing along. Very cool- I think that's the first time I've seen Paula play guitar, and Lisa, who saw Paula last week in Atlanta, said that she didn't play it then. It was the best "Jolene" I've ever heard, and Paula urged us all up to our feet for it so we could uh, "shake our booties together" or something."

I saw Paula perform one more time, at Midtown Music in Atlanta a year later. Her follow up album was called Amen and while it had a couple of songs that I liked, I never found myself as entranced as I was with This Fire.

next time: wide open spaces, i'm falling • you think i'm crazy, i'm not

liner notes: florence + the machine live

Tonight I saw Florence + the Machine's first ever North American show and it was the most mesmerizing, glorious experience I've ever had at a concert. It was at times a theatrical extravaganza, a revival meeting and a rave. I can't even put into words how incredible it was - I can only say that seeing that lovely silent-movie star looking slip of an English lass one would never expect that when she opened her mouth there was such glory to be found. She sings from the tip of her toes, with every follicle of hair, a voice that is bigger than anything. I was honored and lucky to be able to see her play.

Check out the fantastic Florence Daily site, which is where the picture comes from!


(My favorite song of the night was Howl, seen here from her performance in Glastonbury)



There is another brief review of the show and tons of gorgeous photos at the brooklynvegan site!

liner notes: Florence + the Machine LUNGS out today!

I know that I've been talking about Florence + the Machine for almost as long as I've been writing this blog, but the debut album Lungs is finally available in the USA today. I hope you'll check it out!

Also if you know where a fellow can find a single, solitary ticket for next Tuesday's show at the Bowery... let me know. it is sold out. *sadface*

Here's another video for the single "Dog days are over" for your enjoyment!

live version: Anna Ternheim

I saw Anna Ternheim last night at Bowery Ballroom. She was the first of three acts, but she was the reason I went, along with my friend Ayana. First off, I think I gasped when she took the stage because she's absolutely beautiful. Her set list:

Better be (Anna on guitar & with pianist)
(with band from Loney Dear)
-Let it rain
-Black Sunday
-To be gone
-What have I done
-No I don’t remember
I’ll follow you tonight (again only Anna & pianist)

I was so happy that the one song I was hoping she'd play was the first and Ayana's favorite was the one she played last. She also played the two songs that mean the most to me, "To be gone" (which is actually my ringtone) and "What have I done" (which is the first song of hers I heard, back in the spring.) She announced that she would be signing her CDs after the set, but I hadn't brought any with me to be signed- never expecting that she would be doing that. However, we went to the merch table & since there were no t-shirts (I love the designs for her latest album) I bought a tote bag and a trio of badges, which you can also purchase from her website.
This is the t-shirt I was hoping to find, but the tote has the same great design:


We waited a few minutes and soon she came down the stairs. She saw me & said "Oh, you bought a bag! I must sign it!" I went "really?" and thanked her for coming to play. Then Ayana said "It's his birthday, can you give him a hug? He speaks Swedish!" to which I replied, "no, no... no..." But I did tell her that her music has really helped get me through the last year, to which she seemed thankful. Ayana spoke to her about a town in Sweden where she'd spent a summer and was thrilled that Anna spoke a little Swedish when she replied. Also, she is as tall as me, which was surprising. So lovely! Anyway, we walked back up to Union Square to catch our trains, only then did I unfold the tote bag to see the autograph, which reads: "Happy Birthday! Anna Ternheim." It's actually incredibly awesome, as Ayana randomly bought me a pair of black Converse last year as a birthday gift - in October. And since I probably wouldn't have stayed to wait if it had just been me (to avoid saying something as open and raw as "your music has really gotten me through the last year") I wouldn't have gotten my bag signed without her.

track 54: light my candle

I’m pretty sure that the first time I heard about Jonathan Larson’s musical, Rent, was while sitting in a waiting room while my mom had a doctor’s appointment somewhere in South Miami. That week Adam Pascal and Daphne Rubin-Vega were on the cover of Newsweek. I read the entire article and the story was so compelling. I continued to hear & read more and more about the show. I pre-ordered the cast album. When I got it and heard it I was so deeply moved. It was love at first listen. I shared my enthusiasm with Lisa, who became equally obsessed. In fact, she scored some awesome posters. Mine is still on the door of my room back in Miami.


So excited were we that we actually made plans to travel to New York to see the show on March 13, 1997. My mom & Dave joined us and it would be our first trip to New York City. Of course this meant flying. I hate flying. Even though at that point, I’d only flown one time (well twice) from Miami to L.A. and back, but that had been enough. I don’t think I felt any better when they showed a trailer for our in-flight movie, Michael, featuring the song “Goin’ on up to the spirit in the sky…”
It was quite a shock stepping out into the March weather. It was in the 30s and in Miami, it had been 80-something. I got used to it eventually, and even liked the cold. The hotel we stayed in was the Ameritania on 54th & Broadway, right next to the Ed Sullivan Theater, where they tape the Late Show with David Letterman.



We were a bit freaked out because as we walked into the hotel, we saw a bare lobby that was stripped of anything except for an abandoned counter. The reason we got such a cheap deal is because they were renovating the hotel. We couldn’t check in till 3 (my mom thought it was because they were still renovating our room) so we left our luggage and walked to the Hard Rock Café on 57th street. I was disappointed that among the memorabilia they didn’t have any of Courtney Love’s ripped stockings or an empty bottle of Tori Amos Red Hair Dye.



When we went back to the hotel we were led through the bar that adjoined the empty lobby where a temporary check-in counter had been set up. Our room was on the second floor and, as mom suggested, they were still renovating that floor. In fact, the bellhop had trouble finding our room because there was no number on the door yet. A few minutes later Lisa called to let us know that she’d been there for a few hours. We met up with her and headed across the street for dinner, probably to a TGI Fridays. Then we walked 13 blocks down to the Nederlander Theatre for the show. We were in the fourth row. It was… well…

An e-mail I sent out at the time:
“The performance was incredible! I don’t know if it was a particularly exceptional night for them (Timothy Britten Parker – Steve – mentioned something to that effect) or if it was just the excitement of my first Rent experience, but the energy was amazing. I really cried so much, mostly tears of joy, I think, just from being there… Anthony Rapp… is like a bundle of energy or something, I swear! We saw Darius De Haas as Collins (he was so great) and Mark Setlock as Angel. As we left the theatre, I was debating with Lisa about how to pronounce Gilles Chiasson (Squeegee Man)’s name and I noticed that she had the oddest look on her face, so I turned around to see him looking over at us with a smile. He corrected us. Then I went to drop some money in Daphne Rubin-Vega’s bucket (they were out collecting money for Broadway Cares after the show) and told her that I came all the way up from Miami to see the show. She was incredibly sweet and I shook her hand and can honestly say that she made this gay man turn into a pool of mushy goo. Outside, I spoke with Timothy for a bit and he was super nice – the only person I remembered to ask to sign my Playbill, actually.” D’oh!!! “When Adam Pascal came out everyone went crazy… I took a photo of him and Lisa (I actually said Say cheese!)” double D’oh!! “Fredi Walker was chatting with some women when finally Anthony came out and was pretty much bombarded. He noticed a button that I was wearing… I kinda fled, but Lisa kept telling me that he noticed me as soon as he walked out, that he kept looking at me and that he seemed like he wanted to talk a little more. My head hurts from hitting myself over and over again for my stupidity!!! Could have flirted with cutest boy from Rent… aaargh!!!”




We spent Friday sightseeing and hunting for that infamous Deborah Gibson CD But before that hunt began, Lisa & I decided that we had to see the show again before the weekend was over. Lisa tracked down tickets, but only individual ones, for Saturday. I had to see the matinee because my flight was leaving at 6:30. Lisa got herself a ticket for the 8:00 show. My mom & Dave did their own thing that night as I had plans to meet up with some friends: Shawn, who had come down from Massachusetts to meet me and Miki, who came in from Jersey with Andrew, another Ani DiFranco listee. They met us at our hotel and we first headed back to the Nederlander to pick up our tickets. Unfortunately, when we got there it was 8:30 and the box office was closed. We went outside and found that Andrew had disappeared. He had snuck into the theatre. A few minutes he came out with a shit-eating grin. He had seen a bit of “Light my candle.” We headed 10 blocks back up to Ellen’s Stardust Diner. The wait staff sang. Someone did “You light up my life.” The fries sucked. It was my newest definition of hell. We decided to try to crash an after-party for a screening of Drunks, being held rather ironically at Bar 6. An excellent place to celebrate a movie about a group of alcoholics. The point was to catch a sighting of Parker Posey, who was my favorite person in the world that year. No dice. We ended up meeting up with Miki’s friend Adam and going to this Friends-like coffee shop, The Big Cup, on 8th & 22nd in Chelsea, until Lisa & I were so dead tired that we headed back to the hotel.



On Saturday morning, we went to Rockefeller Center and watched people skating as we had breakfast. Lisa & I bought Yankees baseball caps(?!?) and then we went to Saint Patrick’s Cathedral, the one sight my mom really wanted to see. We checked out of our hotel at noon and moved our stuff to Lisa’s room at The Crowne Plaza on 49th & Broadway, where she was staying the rest of the week for a convention she was working. While Dave and mom went to do their own thing, Lisa and I wandered around the Theatre District before my matinee started. It was just as amazing. For the matinee, Darius played Benny and Mark Leroy Jackson played Collins, making Jesse L. Martin the only original cast member that I didn’t get to see. (At least not until a decade later, when I was living in New York and waited behind him at New Andy’s Deli on 18th street, buying a soda during my lunch break.) I didn’t have time to stick around after the show, but I did say hello to Timothy again, who was collecting money for Broadway Cares. No Anthony Rapp sightings, much to my heart’s dismay.



I would never in a million years have thought that I’d eventually be living in the city that seemed like such a gigantic adventure back then. Since then, I’ve seen two different touring productions of the show and you know that when I watch it, I’m probably lip-syncing every single line. And, yes, I have the movie on DVD. Even though it is definitely flawed. What saddens me is that as much as I still love Rent, I find that it’s harder for me to really believe in what it has to say. When the show debuted it was inspirational, almost a religion. Now I find myself as a cynical thirtysomething, rolling my eyes at some moments, thinking it’s a bit of a rose-colored fantasy. This thought makes me sad and I have to say that listening to the cast recording this morning makes me think that maybe I can feel that optimism once again. That period of my life, the initial experience of Rent and especially that weekend was one of the most incredible experiences in my life & I'm so glad I got to share it with the people I love the most.

next time: where do i put this fire? this bright red feeling?

track 53: Buffy the Vampire Slayer theme

March 3, 1997: And Then There Was Buffy. And It Was Good.







next time: maybe it's not the moon at all • i hear Spike Lee's shooting down the street • bah humbug

track 52: damage i've done

In October of 1996, Johnette Napolitano of Concrete Blonde was featured on an album by The Heads (who were Talking Heads without lead singer David Byrne). She performed on two tracks of the album No Talking, Just Head and toured with the band. I never really got into most of the music on the disc, with the exception of Johnette's collaboration, the lead single, "The damage I've done."



Again, I just longed for a Johnette solo album, but I would have to wait another decade for it.



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track 51: get out the map b/w wild horses

For my first Indigo Girls show(s), I traveled a bit. I actually went all the way to New Orleans. They were taking part in the New Orleans Jazz Festival on May 2, 1996 and would be playing another show at the University of New Orleans two days later with Joan Baez and Joan Osborne. A lot of people from The List were planning a trip and I thought I could make it on my own, but in the end I pitched the idea of a trip to New Orleans to my Dad and we made a trip out of it with my brother. I'd never been to New Orleans before. I had read about it a lot, mostly through the tons of Anne Rice books I used to read.

The trip up from Miami was long and as usual driving through Florida is a tremendous bore. If you go the quickest way, you're cutting through the middle of the state and the scenery is pretty dull. I love riding along the coast of Florida, through the small beach towns, especially on the east coast, with the Atlantic right outside of your window. One of my fantasy places to live (and I have many) would be somewhere like Flagler Beach, right on the water. And then I remember what hurricane season means for those adorable little towns and think, "maybe not." During the ride up I remember clearly sitting in the back seat and playing the Ani DiFranco disc I'd picked up in Atlanta on my Discman.

Once we got to New Orleans, we visited Bourbon Street, one of the old cemeteries (and I seem to remember wanting to find a very specific one - probably because of some Rice novel) and yes, we even followed the crowd to Anne Rice's house. In retrospect, how creepy is that? Just imagine having these groups of people (mostly in all black) lingering outside of your home? She was actually in the phone book! Although one thing I really wanted, but didn't get to do was have a beignet. I need to get back for that at the very least.




The Jazz Fest was crowded and full of music. I feel like if it had been two years later, when I had started to listen to some jazz, I would have appreciated it more. But I was there for one reason only. Okay, two: Indigo Girls! The people from The List had a plan - we'd all wear shirts with cows on them to recognize a fellow IG list person. This was inspired by an exchange of dialogue during a live recording of "Galileo" on the 1200 Curfews album. Part of the song talks about the idea of reincarnation and before they play it, they talk about Galileo and imagine him reincarnated as a cow in a field somewhere, looking up at the stars. Just before the song begins, one of the Girls says "moo" - and that sparked a whole debate on the list. No one could say for sure if it was Amy or Emily who said "moo!" I got a plain white v-neck tee, knowing that it would be hot out, and some cow stencils from Michael's and quoted the line about the cow looking up at the stars. I think it was a bit early for me to really have known anyone from the list very well, so I had a vague idea of some of the people who'd be there. I was a newbie. While my dad & Dave wandered through the festival, I found the stage the Girls were playing on and went as far as I could to the front. I think the Chamber Brothers were playing. I just remember that I stood in the same spot for a very, very long time and got very, very sunburned. But IG fans being who they are, I did get found and eventually a group of people from the list were all around and it was time for the show. The first song they played was "Reunion." I seem to remember that they also played a few songs for the first time in public at these two shows: "Shame on you," "Get out the map," and "Don't give that girl a gun," which I think might have been played before. These songs would all end up being on their Shaming of the Sun album.



Two days later, Dad & Dave dropped me off at the University of New Orleans to see the second show. Joan Osborne played first and the place seemed to empty considerably after her set. Then Joan Baez. I can't talk about it, I'm not a fan. Again, seats emptied. Finally, the Girls took the stage. By this time, a lot of us had moved further up into the empty seats and it was a great time. For the encore, they were joined by Baez and another singer from Atlanta who I had heard of through The List, Michelle Malone. They mentioned that Michelle had a new album coming out called Beneath the Devil Moon and then they played a few songs, culminating in a cover of the Rolling Stones song "Wild horses." Anyone who's heard Michelle sing that song will understand how completely in awe I was of her voice. It was my favorite song of the whole weekend and when I heard Beneath the Devil Moon, it became one of my favorite albums of that year. One of the list people had taped both shows and then put them on CDs and sent copies to those of us who were there. I treasure those CDs always because they capture one of the most memorable weekends of my life.



next time: how do i undo the damage i have done?

track 49: joking / track 50: cradle and all

In the Spring of 1996 I made the acquaintance of two women who both became important parts of my life. Okay, sort of. I mean, I've never met one of them personally, and the other one I had known for some months via the wonderful world of AOL. As I mentioned previously, when I arrived on the internet, the first thing I did was look up more information about Christian Bale and the first people I became friends with online were Baleheads. One was a girl in California, a high school student called Brianne. Eventually she introduced me to another Balehead from Atlanta, Lisa Dupre. The three of us would usually be online around the same time every night and we'd hang out in a private chat room talking about Christian, movies, musicals and music. Eventually we'd mail each other mix tapes, too. I totally clicked with Lisa and I remember praising the music of Sarah McLachlan and the Indigo Girls to her. I know that at the time she listened to mostly musicals; we bonded over Andrew Lloyd Webber and our love for Michael Ball from Aspects of Love. So at one point, I made her a mix tape: One side had Sarah McLachlan, the other had the Indigo Girls. She loved it.



While my brother was on Spring Break that year, he and my mom and I were going up to visit my Aunt Charlotte & Uncle Bill in Cleveland, Georgia. Lisa and I made plans to meet up in Atlanta for lunch. We finally met face to face at Rainy Day Records, a local store that was a favorite among the people on the Indigo Girls mailing list I was part of. At the record shop, Lisa asked me which Indigo Girls album she should start with and I told her Rites of Passage, since it was my personal favorite. (so there! see?) We both ate our favorite meal, chicken fingers, at Grady's and posed for a photo, with Lisa holding a photo of Brianne, the third member of our nightly trio. Whenever I'd visit Lisa, we'd usually end up going back to Grady's for a meal, but I think Rainy Day Records is probably gone by now. I know people usually say stuff like "Oh their music changed my life!" or whatever, but that little act of making a mix tape for my friend actually ended up having a giant impact on her life. Because now Lisa (who has seen the Indigo Girls probably hundreds of times, traveling to see them play) helps run the official IG and Amy Ray websites. In fact, earlier this year Lisa and Dee came up to NYC for a show Amy did at Housing Works. After the show, Lisa introduced me to Amy as the person who introduced her to the Indigo Girls. Amy smiled, said "Wow! Good to meet you!" and shook my hand. Life can be pretty awesomely strange sometimes, no?




However, it was at Rainy Day Records that I also made the acquaintance of another longtime companion: Ani DiFranco. Through the IG list, I kept hearing about other musicians: Dar Williams, Michelle Malone and Ani DiFranco, who seemed to be mentioned above all others. Not long before our trip to Georgia, I had heard one of Ani's songs on WVUM and decided to give her a try. At the record store, I discovered that she had recorded tons of albums. I chose the most recent one at the time, Not a Pretty Girl. From the opening effect of swirling guitars on "Worthy" I was hooked. Ani had a sound that was absolutely her own. Especially her guitar work which is sort of muscular and bold - I can't explain it better than that, but she's one of the few artists whose guitar playing I can recognize because it seems to have its own unique voice. Lyrically, she was smart and witty, brash and fierce. I loved the fact that she had released all of her albums on her own label, and in fact, she has continued to chart her own course during her career. I became a huge fan.



While Not a Pretty Girl is still one of my favorite Ani albums, it is the one she released a few weeks after I discovered her, Dilate, that is my all-time favorite. It's one of those beautiful and heartbreaking albums that always seemed to me to be about unrequited love, which is my area of expertise. I immediately delved into Ani's backlist as well, her first few albums are just her and her guitar, but sound just as rich as the rest of her work. However, some of the best Ani stuff are the live recordings, especially Living in Clip. Her music continues to push boundaries and even when I'm not completely transfixed, it is always worth listening to the little folk singer who could.

next time: get out the map and lay your finger anywhere down

track 48: river

If you don't know this song or Joni Mitchell, you should press play and listen to her gorgeous live version of "River" while you read:



By the winter of 1996, I had fallen in love with the Indigo Girls cover of "River" on 1200 Curfews and heard Roseanne Cash's version of the song as well as Sarah McLachlan's cover of "Blue" on 1995's excellent Spirit of '73 compilation, which featured several amazing women performing covers of 70s tunes as a benefit for Rock For Choice. This, combined with the advice of a fellow Balehead, Brianne, inspired me to give Joni Mitchell a listen. I chose the album that had both of the songs I'd heard: Blue.




For anyone unfamiliar with Joni's music, I should say that 1971's Blue is not just her greatest album, but also an essential album. It is full of poetry, acoustic guitar that rings with joy or sadness and of course, Joni Mitchell's beautiful voice. Especially in her early work, she sang so clearly and was full of light and humor as well as that beautiful melancholy that I am always drawn to in music. As long as I'm on the subject of beautiful and sad, "River" is still my very favorite song of Joni Mitchell's, the most gorgeous song on the album. "Blue" is so perfect that it makes it very difficult for me to hear anyone else perform it. I fell madly in love for "A case of you" which is my second all-time favorite Joni song. But there are also songs like "California" and "Carey" and "All I want" that are more upbeat and just as good. I also have a special fondness for "The last time I saw Richard" obviously, which includes the lyric "I'm gonna blow this damn candle out / I don't want nobody coming over to my table / I got nothing to talk to anybody about". It's like the song was written for me. I fell hard for Blue and then Brianne suggested that I try Court and Spark. It was fantastic, a little more pop-sounding than Blue, but I adored "Help me" and recognized "Free man in Paris" from having heard it at my job. Speaking of which, I recorded both albums onto a cassette, one on each side, and would bring it to work with me. At that point, I had moved on to the video game booth at Toys R Us and was able to play the radio while I worked. I probably wore out that cassette over the Christmas season.




Over the years I have continued to listen to Joni Mitchell. It's strange, though. As much as I love her and as much as her lyrics are an integral part of her music, I feel about her music outside of a few albums, the way I do about jazz. I will find myself in a certain state of mind and think, "I need to listen to Hejira or Don Juan's Reckless Daughter" because of the mood they have, rather than for specific songs. (Much like the way I'll think "I have to listen to Kind of Blue or Charles Mingus" for the same reasons. I'll eventually talk about how I was introduced to jazz and the strange relationship I have with jazz music, but it's hard to explain.) It may also be due to the fact that Joni's work ended up being influenced by jazz (she even collaborated with Mingus), but while there are some Mitchell albums I can play and sing along with, there are some that play and just sort of seep into me the way a film score will, that I appreciate for the feeling that comes over me when I hear them.



In 2000, she recorded an album of standards called Both Sides Now that also included new recordings of "River" and the title track. By then her soprano had deepened and gained a rasp, years of smoking cigarettes. But it makes listening to her new recording of "Both sides now" even more powerful. Two years later, she would record new versions of several of her songs with an orchestra for the two-disc set, Travelogue. It's a gorgeous collection by a woman who is still an extraordinary artist.


next time: 14th street the garbage swirls like a cyclone / 3:00 in the afternoon & i'm going home / F train is full of high school students / so much shouting, so much laughter

liner notes: October's P+F

An aside- the new issue of my usual writing gig, Pictures & Frames Magazine, is now online. This month includes JM's reviews of Inglourious Basterds and the new Phoenix album. I contributed a piece about the American versions of The Office and State of Play, a review of Florence + The Machine's brilliant Lungs, Margaret Atwood's new novel, The Year of the Flood and a spotlight on Alfred Hitchcock. I also contributed the second part of a short story to the Focus! page.

Book review PS: I'm sooooo glad I read The Year of the Flood first. I just finished Oryx & Crake and that cliffhanger would have killed me. Especially if it had lasted 6 years the way it did for anyone who read it in 2003 when it was originally published!

Tomorrow or Saturday I will return with my piece about Joni Mitchell. I promise.

liner notes: Brandi Carlile

I promise I will be back on Friday or Saturday with the next song in the series, but for now I wanted to share the link to Billboard, where you can hear the upcoming album Give Up The Ghost by Brandi Carlile in its entirety!



I love Brandi, a singer/songwriter out of Washington, and her new single "Dreams" sounds like the sort of music Patsy Cline might make if she were a twentysomething gal alive today. Please check it out and remember that Give Up The Ghost is out next Tuesday! Also, if you get a chance to see her live, DO IT! I saw her play with Amy Ray earlier this year and she was amazing. She is touring with the Indigo Girls now! Here's a clip of her singing the most incredible song, "The Story" from her last album: